On Memories, Family, and Thanksgiving

Statute of a grieving angelOn Memories, Family, and Thanksgiving is a post I did not intend to write. I did not intend to blog today at all however, last night this blog popped up in my head. I have not been able to shake it so I guess it needs to be written.

The Holiday Season is here and that is supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year.”It is that time of the year that we get together even if we live far apart. We take the time and spend the money to travel so we can join each other for special meals and rehash memories. I look forward to our Holiday Season at home.

It will be partly wonderful and partly sad. The wonderful is obvious. I get to see family and old friends again. The sad part is that every Holiday Season I am reminded that many important people in my life have passed away. And I miss them dearly most notably my mother-in-law and my father.

My pain is centered on not having them around anymore to share stories and make new memories. But, I know what took them away from us. I know why they passed away.

But many of us do not know what happened to members of their family. Some people went to the store and never returned home. They went missing years ago and to this day, no news. Some family members miss a loved one at their table who was found murdered and their case remains unsolved.

Whereas I know what killed both my mother-in-law and my father, some families have no clues at all. They do not know where people are, why they had to die, who did this, and how it is possible that they still don’t get any answers. I am fortunate in that sense that doctors gave me all the answers that I needed.

The “most wonderful time of the year” isn’t wonderful for all.

If you know a family where a loved one disappeared or, where a loved one was murdered, please reach out during this Holiday Season. Just let them know that you are there for them if they need help. Many victim families feel terribly alone and disconnected from the rest of the world during this time of the year. Please be their connection.

Knowing that someone understands why there is a darker than usual cloud hanging over you, can make people feel less alone. Just the fact that you are offering help can lift part of their mood. You cannot make all the pain go away and they know that. But the feeling that someone else cares for you and for your murdered/missing loved one can cushion some sharp pains in their hearts. It will not be cushioned forever but even if you manage to lift their spirits just for a moment you give special meaning to the Holiday Season.

Happy Thanksgiving!




  1. Beautifully written.

  2. Very nice post! I’m going through the same emotions myself. This year will make the second holiday season my older brother has been gone and so far, it does not seem the pain will be any less. Tidings of comfort and joy to you and your family! :)

  3. Bob Flenner says:

    Well and beautifully written. Thank you.


  1. […] Those posts have a separate category as well. I rant and rave at times. I goof up. I blog about pain as […]

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